Let me just say up front that I do not like winter. At all. And before you all get upset and say how much you like to watch the rain and eat the chestnuts and drink the hot chocolate, well yes, I like those things too, but they could quite easily go into the “autumn” department and then we could skip straight to spring.

As I write this I am listening to the south wind howl under the door and watching the clouds race across the sky. This is never good. This is the wind that brings the rain and the storms, that blows down electricity poles, that destroys the little old houses of the little old farmers and that last year blew the tiles off our roof and flooded every room in the apartment (except the bathroom, which is the only room that could have handled a flood, ironically…)

And there is no amount of hot chocolate and chestnuts in this world that can take away the smell of a mouldy carpet and damp everything. So you winter lovers, I’m very happy for you but I’m inclined to believe you’re all a little messed in the head…